Category Archives: Mind games

Throwback Thursday



Remember the time I decided to do a bikini competition?  And then I found out I was pregnant!?  Haha.  I don’t think this will ever be on the bucket list again, but notice how I didn’t say never?

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5 Things Friday

5 Things Friday

I cannot believe that July is halfway over.  Stop it time.

I feel like this summer is getting away from me.  I was doing some calendaring this afternoon and flipped to October…omg #babylove is going to be a year old in like 10 weeks or so…wtf.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks but here the 5…

  1. Last Saturday I ran my first obstacle race.  While I was running it I kept thinking how much I hated it and that I would never do it again.  But now that the pics are in…I might change my mind.  It sucked at the time, as all races do.  But I feel super mighty and super strong for having done it.  Not to mention badass. race_70_photo_5296516
  2. A while back we took the 28 Day No Spending challenge, well we decided after this last trip to Florida that we were going to a cash based system.  EEEEKKK… and it’s a tight one too!  It is helping us be more strategic in our budget and weekly grocery shopping.
  3. I got my hairs cut this week.  And my fab mommy friend also debulked the holy bejeezus out of it.  We swept up a whole entire other head of hair.  I never actually lost all what I had gained during pregnancy, and when I got it cut in December (yes, that was really my last cut) we didn’t do any thinning of any kind because I had no idea if I would lose a bunch or not.  It looks amazeballs.
  4. I tried “that crazy wrap thing” this week…stay tuned for a post next week on that…but the skeptic in me has been silenced.
  5. Sam’s Club or Costco?  Opinions?  Go…

I hope everyone has an amazing weekend!

Warrior Dash Race Review

On Saturday I completed my first obstacle race.

It was rough.  Like really rough.

WD map

I could not find an elevation map…but suffice it to say the hills were insane.  I am pretty sure that I can cross off ALL of my hill training until the end of time now.  It’s Monday and I still am not walking right.


The course started out flat for about a tenth of a mile or so and then we hit the first hill and they just kept coming.  The first of the obstacles was “Storming Normandy” where we crawled under barbed wire on our bellies.  Then the mud mounds, another belly crawl through PVC tubes, a wall climb (I had to skip the first part because there were no handhold within my reach…no help for the shorties WD?!), then the two X Fall, which I also had to skip because I could not keep my balance and fell 3 times before I got both feet on the board…but I walked through some crazy mud to get around it.  Next was a cargo climb, a blizzard to water that was a total shock to the system, and then the warrior peak (skipped that too because…heights) and then the FIRE PIT, Goliath…and mud pits complete with more barbed wire.  Which I almost grabbed onto to keep my balance but realized seconds before my hands grabbed it that it was infact barbed wire.


But let me go back to the Goliath…it was a HUGE gauntlet of insanity…a cargo climb up, then a belly cargo climb to another platform where a waterslide of misery was waiting for me, to a gigantic pool of mud that was up to my chest.  I slid down into it and went straight to the bottom and freaked out.  I am so glad that I plugged my nose.  It was cold I went I got out I was started to hyperventilate from the shock of the cold and having the muddy water over my head.



But boy was I glad when I saw the finish line.  I don’t think that I will ever do one of these again, it was really out of my wheelhouse and although the “fun” part was the after party; I was totally miserable during the event.  I heard tons of huffing and puffing from other warriors during the entire event.  And many thanks to Tattoo Guy for checking in during one of those last hills…I was about to cry I was in so much pain and so exhausted.

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I was part of Team Anytime Fitness Plymouth…seriously love that place, so I am super thankful for the entry to the event, and the experience.  One of my friends mentioned that I looked happier in the after photo…I said “that’s because there was beer at the end.”



So that was my first obstacle race.  And probably my last.  Except the Hubs said it looked like so much fun.  Crap.

Sh!t no one told me about having a baby that I wish I would have known

Making a baby is hard work, yo.  But the hardest part comes after that sweet little bundle comes home.  The day we were discharged I kept thinking…”This is really happening?  They are actually going to let me take this itty bitty thing home?  Shit just got real.”

shit no one told me

I really thought I had prepared myself for what life was going to be like with a new baby.  Afterall, I had babysat pretty much my entire life, nannied all through college, even lived in for a while, I majored in Early Childhood Ed!  But in all honesty I had no effing clue what we were in for.  A while back I shared some things that I had learned as a new mommy, but that was only the beginning.

As the Hubs and I continue discussions about going through this all again, I am quite confident that adjusting to life with a newborn will not be as challenging the second time around because I know so much more than I did before she got here.  And I have adjusted my expectations to a more realistic level.


There is so much that I wish I had known before my disgustingly adorable daughter came into the world, that no one bothered to tell me.  I really wish that close Mommy friends, or family would have shared how it really is.  Instead everyone tells you the Hollywood version of Motherhood.  And that it is beautiful and blissful.  It’s not like that 100% of the time.  I have learned so much about this new role in my life, so much that I could write a book…but I will share my biggies…

Biggie number 1: No matter how many books you read, or classes you go to.  You don’t know what the hell you are doing.  No clue.  It’s fly by the seat of your pants time now that you are home with a baby.  A real for real baby that cries all the time and poops all over you (YES it happens).  You won’t know why she is crying, and you will try everything that your hormonal, exhausted brain can think of.  And it still won’t fix it.  Just know that you don’t know what to do.  Until you do.  Also know that you are a great Mommy, and you are doing an amazing job.  It will also be impossible to ask for help.  So just take it when it’s offered.  Take people up on their offer to help.  No one cares that you have not showered for days…they are there to hold the baby…so that you can shower, and eat.  And sleep.


Biggie number 2: You might want to leave.  Some days you will want to leave, and never come back.  Somedays you will want to just take the baby and go.  Sometimes you will want to not be married and not be a mom.  You will imagine yourself in a cabin in the woods, where no crying babies live.  Or in a tiny town by the sea, with no husbands and no babies.  You would never actually leave, but the daydream keeps you sane.  Or you will tell your husband to leave…like I did the first weekend home.  Thank god he came back!  Side note: I told him to go to the gym, and that I needed to be alone.  Not to leave forever.

Biggie number 3: You will probably get depressed.  Big time.  As in don’t leave the house, why bother showering, don’t even think about touching me, depressed.  And because you have thoughts of leaving, and you are exhausted you have zero filter, and spew a verbal vomit of hateful things to your partner; things you don’t actually mean…because they are mean.  You get through it, but you can’t get through it alone.  PPD is serious, and if you are feeling down…please, please, please talk to your partner, a friend and fellow mommy, your OB/GYN, someone…you don’t have to deal with it alone.  I was silent way too long.  Until I wasn’t and I could have done some serious damage to my marriage with the above verbal vomit.  I am thankful I have an amazing Hubs.  I shared my PPD struggles here but in truth, I struggled more in silence than I anyone knows.

Biggie number 4: Motherhood isn’t all encompassing.  Nor should it be.  Don’t lose yourself in the mounds of laundry and diapers.  Having a standing coffee date with a friend, and talk about non-mommy things.  In fact institute a “No baby talk policy”…that way you are free to dish on the latest celeb gossip, new book you are reading…oh yeah…read books.  Do something for yourself, by yourself.  When I finally opened up to The Hubs about how I was feeling, I told him I felt like the person I was before my daughter was born was dead, like she no longer existed.  She was lost and I couldn’t find her.  (Good news…I found her in Florida and she came home with me. :))


Biggie number 5: You will feel guilty.  All.  The.  Time.  For no damn reason, and for the stupidest things.  I spent months agonizing over my milk supply.  My daughter had SUA, and IUGR and “it was my fault” was the lie I kept telling myself.  Clearly I had done something wrong.  Not only that but she has Polydactyly on her right hand…meaning she has an extra finger.  Yep…that is the first time I have mentioned it here because…I feel immense guilt about it and I still do every damn time I look at it.  So let go of the Mommy Guilt, it will all be ok.  And don’t worry about screwing up your kid…WE ARE ALL SCREWED UP.

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Biggie number 6: You might not fall in love with your baby right away.  You might have a shitty birth experience, like me, and be a bit traumatized and drugged for a while.  You might feel like you are no longer connected to your baby because she is not physically a part of you.  Just remember that she is now a spiritual part of you and that it will come.  You might be sitting up with her at 2am one night and the love will reach out and smack you in the face.  And then you will love the shit out of her.  She will be the most amazing, and awesome creature you’ve ever met.

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Biggie number 7: You might miss being pregnant.  You will miss the connection, and the comfort.  It’s hard to explain, but a lot of women experience it.  It’s totally normal.  For me, I felt disconnected from her…and even though she was there for me to hold, I had a hard time adjusting to her being in the world.

Biggie number 8: Find a mommy tribe.  And don’t just stay with the first one that you check out (I happen to still be with my same group, but did check out one other and it just wasn’t for me).   Make it new people that you don’t know.  Find your tribe, and get real with them.  Seriously.  My mommy tribe mommies are the most amazing, supportive, beautiful, non-judgemental women and our babies are all besties…or BF/GF.  Our group is changing, 2 of our mommies and babies are moving away and change is hard.  I will miss them so very much.  Oh, and stay away from Mommy groups online…for real.  They are nothing but drama, and you don’t need that.


Biggie number 9: Get active as soon as possible…be a mall walker, join a gym, get outside if you can.  Don’t sit inside and be alone.  It’s no good for either of you.  I seriously cannot stress this one enough.  Remember: endorphins make you happy.

Biggie number 10:  You might not like being a mom sometimes.  You might have regret for the decision to procreate, and you might resent your child, especially when it’s at 2 am and you are beyond exhausted.  But that is only .01% of the time…the rest of the time is filled with bliss and sunshine and rainbows…oh wait…no it’s not…that’s the cartoons that you will watch!  Motherhood is hard for real…but it can be a blissful time if you let it.  It does get a bit easier.  I am sure that there are Moms out there that have been in the trenches a lot longer than I that will say it does not get easier…but I think it has gotten tremendously easier.  Or perhaps I am finally getting the hang of this.


Much of this post was written in jest, but there is a lot of truth to it.  This journey is a challenging one, but one that I love more than anything in the world.  My daughter is everything to me and I love the crap out of her.


5 Things Friday


Yay it’s Friday!  And our first one back in MN in a while!

Today is Independence day, so we have some family coming over, and we are headed off to a BBQ!  I know today is going to be a great day!

Here are the 5…

  1. I am so excited to be back at Anytime Fitness.  I rejoined this week because I know that having a gym, and a routine are vital to my goals.  I have been going everyday this week, sometimes twice per day if it works out.  They have so much new stuff and so many new trainers!  It’s awesome!
  2. I finally finished my motivation wall, well the last bit anyway.  10526114_762152237191953_8289888086350048178_n It has my goals for the next 60 days, my training plan and a little challenge I am currently doing, the #ffpushup challenge is going on this month and I am doing 31 push-ups everyday in July.  I do love me some Bosu push-ups!
  3. I unpacked all of my workout clothes, and made myself a closet just for workout clothes…and found out I might have a problem.  Not sayin I do, but ya know it’s a possibility…10402953_762466180493892_1449215440283944686_n
  4. Banana song.  Omg the banana song.  #babylove loves that song.  It makes her face light up when she hears it.  And I love that so I will listen to it.  On repeat.  For an hour.
  5. Meal prep.  It’s going to be a key to my success.  Thank god for slow cookers.

Workout Wednesday – I’m baaaaaaack!

Smith Machine!

So happy to be back at my favorite Little Gym, Anytime Fitness.  I have missed this place so much.  I made so much progress here, and learned so much about myself in this gym.  I cannot think of a better place to get my body back than here.



A while back I had shared how to get over Gymtimidation, but the truth is I just couldn’t get over the size of the Big Gym.  And the sheer volume of people, the numbers and their actual volume.  I always felt completely overwhelmed by how many people were there, and constant activity.  But at my awesome Little Gym I can get in, get it done and go, without being super distracted by everyone around me.

And the bonus…I am running the Warrior Dash here in MN with my Anytime peeps in TWO WEEKS…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk!!

What is your gym like?  Do you love your Big Gym, or is a Little Gym the best for you?

5 Things Friday – Florida Edition 4.0 The Conclusion


At last the month in Florida has come to a close. It’s been amazing, and a lot of fun and some hard work.

I am really excited to be going home, and to see my Hubs, and sleep in my bed. And also to be getting back on track with my training schedule! I am quite behind now. Although I was able to work out with Wonder Woman a lot, I am behind on my miles. I am also really excited to be going back to Anytime Fitness. I decided that I do need a gym, and this will make “me time” better. Wonder Woman and I were doing 2-a-days during the week, or double dipping as a I like to call it. And I really like that routine. Getting 3 hours of exercise in a day feels amazing and I am ready to continue that when I get home.

Ok so lets get to the 5!

  1. Cross country road tripping is not as awesome as I remember. Perhaps it’s because I have a baby this time? I’ll go with yes.
  2. I lost weight on vacation. YEAH! about 5 pounds, maybe more. Thank you Wonder Woman, Isagenix, Quest Bars and Walden Farms…omg.
  3. I like Florida living. A lot.
  4. Apparently the posted speed limits in the south are just a suggestion…I am sure that most everyone was doing a cool 20 mph over the posted 70 mph limit Wednesday night. oy.
  5. I need a hair cut. I honestly have not had one since December when I cut it all off. Now it’s just out of control.

Seriously the sunrise yesterday morning in Tennessee…


(Half) Marathon Monday – you like to Fart?

Fartlek, that is.


Also known as speed work. Or sprints if you are on a track.

And yes. I really enjoy Fartleks. It gives me a chance to improve my pace, as well as get a kick-ass workout. While I do prefer to run outside, I generally like to do my speed work on a treadmill, so as to control my pace, and have some clue as to how fast I am going.

Outdoor speed work is easy and fun. If you are on a track, just sprint about 10 yards as fast as you can, then walk back to the starting point and repeat. If you are out on a regular run, simply pick a landmark, tree, house, mailbox or what have you, and run to that point faster than your current speed. Repeat this throughout your run.

It’s important to do speed work when training for an event to help decrease your per mile pace, but not a necessary part of training if increasing your speed is not a goal for you. It also helps to strengthen your leg muscles, and your core. Not to mention the HIIT is a great way to whittle your middle as well.

Try working in some Fartleks on your next training run!

5 Things Friday – Florida 3.0


Yes…still here!

Wonder Woman bought a house (forever ago) that has not closed yet, and it looks like it might happen while she is out of the country…so I am stepping in to help her close while she is away…which means that I get an additional 2 weeks of Florida…for a grand total of an ENTIRE month of vacationing in this beautiful state of beaches and palm trees and warm weather! Winning.

But I gotta say…living out of a suitcase for a month is tricky. Not just for me but for #babylove. Especially since we are sitting in a house with no actual furniture…I mean, none other than a couple of air mattresses and some camping chairs and a TV. Not having her normal routine per se has made keeping her happy a bit of a challenge. But we are managing just fine with not having all of the creature comforts that we are used to.

Here are 5 things that I have learned by being on this extended vacation…

  1. We can survive with a lot less. Less stuff, less clothes. Just less. I am really looking forward to a huge purge when we get home.
  2. Two words: Banana Song. YouTube it. I’ve created a monster.
  3. Thank goodness for Skype. We miss The Hubs a lot, but at least we get to see his handsome face while we are gone…and for the first Father’s Day too… 10313766_573474292388_2015295614064444557_n
  4. I am not sure I want to leave. I might make the Hubs sell all of our possessions and move here.
  5. I am in love with Publix. Love, love, love…

5 Things Friday – Florida Edition 2.0

5 things Friday

#baby love and I decided to hang out here in FL this week, and it’s been really nice. More family time, more beach time…and we got to help my SIL Camilla, AKA Wonder Woman, pack up and move out of her house before she heads to Taiwan later this month for a couple weeks. I will call her Wonder Woman from now on because she is super motivating to be to stay on track, and she can leg press a ton. Literally a ton. A few days ago she asked if we could stay another week…we said YESSSS…so one more week in Florida…seriously a 3 week vacation in FL…um…duh?!


Wonder Woman and I have been keeping each other motivated, and eating right. On Wednesday night we headed to the gym to work off our cheat meals from earlier that day, Mine was a Dark Chocolate Hazelnut waffle and a large iced Mocha…ugh. And it was amazing. I was dripping on the treadmill (Splits 11:30, 12:30…NICE), and then did a quick circuit work out of Bosu pushup, Russian twits, and step ups with a bicep curl. And then Leg lifts in the captains’s chair, pulsing jump squats, and curtsey lunges. Yes, my legs hurt.

So my 5 this week are mostly health/fitness related revelations…

  1. I have to count my calories again. I can’t just eat mindlessly during the day anymore. So I am heading back to My Fitness Pal to track my progress. I will have to be really careful not to get too wrapped up in were every single calorie goes. The last time I was really getting too strict and it just was not healthy for me. I am going to focus on making sure that I track my meals for now, and focus on eating 5-6 times per day to get that metabolism revved up!
  2. I’ve gotten in 2 runs so far on this vacation. Therefore I am lame. I didn’t bring my training schedule with me, so I can’t remember what I am supposed to be doing! But I do know that I should be running!
  3. It is possible to stay healthy on vacation. I can make better choices when I am stuck going through the drive through. The Hubs has this thing for McDs…and I can’t stand it. But I can have the oatmeal, and a yogurt parfait for breakfast.
  4. #babylove is scared of the ocean.
  5. I miss my Hubs. A lot. It’s been a lonely week without him.  20140607-090048-32448317.jpg